Surgery Success

Yesterday was a big day for me on this journey to having our rainbow baby, my big surgery is finally over. We were not sure how extensive the surgery was going to be as there were several things my doctor had to look at.

First, we knew my fallopian tubes had to come out. One was filled with fluid and causing pain and would have made it impossible for me to have a successful transfer. It’s emotional letting go of a piece of yourself, literally. From this day forward I will never be able to conceive a baby naturally. Even though that possibility was remote, it was still possible. So today I grieve that loss.

Second, since she was already in the area, we decided to have her confirm my endometriosis diagnosis and clear any endo she found. My diagnosis is correct, I do have endo and it was significant. She cut away what she could and had to leave behind endo that was on organs like my bowel. Trying to remove endo from organs is really risky, especially the bowel, as it can be perforated easily and cause all sorts of problems including sepsis. Long term, I will need to treat my endo and eventually I will lose my uterus to this shitty disease. Endo is painful, pair it up with my PCOS and my monthly cycles are a nightmare.

I have endured years of pain and as I get older it’s getting worse. I don’t know how or when I will be ready to let go of the idea of having a baby or when we will be done for sure, but it’s not today. So, we will cross that bridge when the time is right.

Finally since I have a history of polyps we needed to make sure my uterus was polyp free. Just 2 months ago I had a procedure to check for polyps and nothing was there, yesterday she removed 3. The rate at which they are starting to grow is alarming and frustrating for me.

Overall the surgery was a success and we are feeling confident in our future.

This road to having another baby has been long. So many highs and lows in the last year, but hopefully this final speedbump is behind us. Today I am sore and groggy but I am on the road to healing. Because this was a pretty extensive surgery our transfer is a ways off as I need time to heal. So I am going to soak up the summer with my boys and enjoy every second with them. They are the biggest blessing my life, and it’s moments like this when I realize just how precious their life is.