The Story of Coop & Ollie
This is the story about Cooper and Oliver, my miracle babies, and the day we finally met. As I sit down to write this long overdue blog, I am already filled with emotion. Every mom’s story is different, I will say their birth was not an easy one. It took me weeks to be able to talk about it without completely breaking down. Maybe that’s why my boys are 7 months old and I still haven’t talked about it much. But before we get to that, let me take you back to May 2018 and final week leading up to the day they were born.
My entire pregnancy I was so focused on making it to 37 weeks- I worked out daily, ate well and took care of these boys the best I could. After so many years of infertility I’m not going to lie, being pregnant was terrifying. Almost every day I thought I would lose them because I didn’t know if my story would ever have a happy ending. Besides a horrible case of pregnancy induced carpal tunnel, my pregnancy was text book right up until week 35. I only gained 30 pounds, the boys were always in the 90% for growth, they turned head down at 30 weeks and stayed head down, my blood pressure was great for almost my entire pregnancy and honestly, I loved the growing belly and daily kicks. All was well until it wasn’t.
Starting at about 30 weeks my doctor began to notice my blood pressure changing…in the beginning it was just a slight elevation, but with twins pre-eclampsia is very common and she worried this was the beginning of it. It wasn’t until week 35 however that my blood pressure suddenly took a big jump. If you remember back to the end of May 2018 it was extremely hot. I’m talking almost 100 degrees in May which is unheard of in MN. With twins every day matters so I begged her to give me more time. She gave me through the weekend and ordered me to spend as much time lying down in the air conditioning as possible. Tuesday May 29 I went in and Dr Johnson decided my blood pressure was too high and officially diagnosed me with pre-eclampsia. I think it was around 170/85…my feet were so swollen there was only one pair of sandals I could even get on. She also ran a test on the protein levels in my urine. I can’t remember what is normal….I think somewhere in the teens like 15 and mine was in the 700’s. She was so worried about my kidney's shutting down she almost made me stay and get induced right there, but again I begged for one more day to get my stuff together. Babies both looked fine, no one was in distress it was just me she was worried about. This stubborn girl was still in denial that things were as bad as she was saying they were.
So I left the doctor’s office and did what any 36 week pregnant with twins and pre-eclampsia women do…I went to the grocery store, to Target, got the car washed because I know how much my husband loves a clean car, and then cleaned my house. The last night at home, for the first time, I felt really sick. The pre-e headache started to settle in, I couldn’t sleep in my bed because of the pelvic pain and I was having trouble breathing. It was then that I realized the doctor was right and it was time.
After very little sleep, Rob and I got up about 5am to shower, pack the car and get to the hospital by 7 to be induced.
We grabbed a quick picture in the parking lot and I waddled my way up to labor and delivery.
Pitocin was started about 7:30am, I was already 3cm dilated and 70% effaced. When Erika came in to break my water at 9:40 her comment to me was we’ll have babies by supper this is going to go fast. Spoiler alert, she was wrong.
When Erika came to break my water, she asked me if I had planned on an Epidural. I had told her yes that I wanted one. At this time she said good, you’re getting one now. My blood pressure in just under 24 hours was now in the 180/90 and rising. They already wouldn’t let me out of bed because it was too high and I was starting to get the shakes from the Pitocin and my headache was only getting worse. I agreed and an hour later when the anesthesiologist arrived I was shaking so hard my husband had to hold me so he could place it safely. I’m grateful Erika ordered it when she did as my body was really starting to break down at this point. Epidurals feel so strange! It doesn’t hurt, but when the drug starts to flow it feels like ice cold water running down your spine followed by sweet relief. I was instantly able to relax and besides the pounding headache I felt pretty good. My mom and sisters came by for a quick visit after and it was a great distraction.
If you’ve ever been induced you know that while the pitocin is flowing, the baby must be constantly monitored. Having two monitors on my belly at all times was not only uncomfortable, but extremely annoying. Every time one of them moved, which was non-stop because I was lying down, an alarm would go off, a nurse would then rush in and have to find the baby again. And because two alarms just isn’t enough we had to add a third. Because my blood pressure was so high I also had to have a cuff on my arm, which would take my blood pressure every 30 minutes, and because it was so high that would set off an alarm each time it grabbed my pressure. Try getting any rest with that going on.
At dinner Erika came in to deliver bad news, not only did we not have the babies like she had predicted, the Pitocin wasn’t working. Being the stubborn person I am, I was fighting having a c-section tooth and nail. She said at this point they would stop the meds, give my body time to recover and re-start the Pitocin that night. I was allowed to eat a little dinner, and Rob and I settled in for a long night. A nurse came in around 10pm to start the IV and told me to sleep if I could. At this point my headache was so bad my vision was getting blurry. They were swapping ice packs on my head and neck every hour. Despite pushing blood pressure meds through my IV every 3 hours, lying down and having an epidural my blood pressure continued to climb through the night. If that wasn’t enough at 3am my epidural wore off. It started out as pinpoint pain in my lower back and once again by the time they got an anesthesiologist out of bed and to me an hour later, I was shaking so hard and in so much pain I couldn’t talk. I told the night nurse I thought I was having contractions. She didn’t think so because they weren’t registering on her machine. Turns out the machine wasn’t working, I was contracting hard and we got our first good news since arriving…I was at a 5. Things were finally progressing! They told me the hardest part is getting to 5, that once you’re there things speed up!
Erika came in at 8am with bad news, I was still at a 5-I hadn’t progressed at all in hours. She wanted to do a c-section. I cried. Hard. I was so tired and so defeated that after hours of labor my body wasn’t doing what it was built to do. Again. I couldn’t get pregnant. I couldn’t stay pregnant long enough. I couldn’t go into labor on my own. I’ll write a blog later about how I couldn’t even nurse if I wanted to. It’s frustrating as a woman when you know you’re literally born to do these things and when you can’t you feel somehow less of a woman. Erika knew how badly I wanted this so she tried one more thing, upping my Pitocin dose past the max level. They had never done this before.
Pitocin is a nasty drug. I super high dose of Pitocin is a b*&%$! Boy did I feel like crap, and guess what…my epidural wore off…again. So cue the shaking, back pain, nausea. So much fun.
Let’s recap here, I’ve been in labor 24 hours, my epidural has been done 3 times, I’ve only progressed 2 cm in 24 hours, and to top it off my doctor had to leave for a family emergency. Yes that’s right folks the person who’s been by my side for almost 9 months, knows my body, my wishes, my goals leaves in the middle of labor. She wasn’t even able to say good bye. This is the point I should have stopped trying to control and let go. Because if God hasn’t pounded that message home to me over the past 6 years, today was the day he was reminding me who is in charge.
Just when I had given up all hope, in pops Dr. Sprengeler. Side note: If you don’t know her, she is an amazing ray of sunshine. I am so lucky that I got to work with her, she took such good care of us. Okay back to our regularly scheduled program… She warned me that she thought I should give in then and have the c-section, but she was willing to check me one more time. By the grace of God I was now a 6. Things were moving! This was at about 10 am on May 31st, a long 27 hours of labor up to this point.
Here’s a fun fact about going into labor with twins. No matter how text book your labor is going you are not allowed to deliver in the nice warm delivery rooms. No matter what you MUST deliver in the cold operating room, on the hard bed that doesn’t recline up or down because if something goes wrong they need to be able to knock you out instantly and get the babies out. So she wanted to be prepared and told the nurses to bring me to the room. My amazing nurse Steph who had been by my side through almost all of this took her in the hall and told her just how tired and sick I was and asked if I could stay in my room until it was time to push. Sprengeler agreed since the operating room is just down the hall to let me stay. I thought I had won, I started to relax and get excited again. Then we got the next round of bad news.
A little after 12:45 Sprengeler came to check on me, she said I have good and bad news. The good news is you’re at an 8! The bad news is your cervix is swelling shut from the other side so you’re actually back at a 6. She then noticed my blood pressure was 198/102. So high I was in stroke territory. She looked at Rob and I and said these babies need to come out, you’re having an emergency c-section and you’re having it right now.
I can’t even describe the wave of emotions, I was relieved and devastated, I was exhausted and energized to meet my sons. I was ready. We were ready. My sweet husband, who by the way was my rock through all of this, had been keeping my mom in the loop, she was going crazy waiting for the news. He told her what was happening and within minutes she appeared in my room as they were getting ready to roll me out. She was bawling, which made me start bawling. But it was comforting somehow to have my mommy there as I was preparing to be one myself.
Here’s where everything gets blurry. I was now stuffed up from crying and having to lay flat, I couldn’t breath but I wasn’t allowed to have water. My arms were tied to the bed. I have two anesthesiologists pumping med after med through my IV, along with my 4th epidural-a super extra strong dose to numb me from the stomach down. I have a team around me all talking, we’re running down the hallway to the operating room. I don’t know if it was the meds or the pre-eclampsia but I was nauseous and I had started violently shaking. I was so out of it I could barely speak, I was asking for a puke bag but no one heard me. Just as they were going to push me through the operating doors, I threw up all over myself. It was the last thing my poor husband saw as they wouldn’t let him in until I was prepped.
As we bust in the operating doors picture this. There’s a team of about 15 people waiting for me. Each baby had a team and I had a team. It was pandemonium in a tiny room. I bust in puking bright red because all I had been allowed to eat for almost a day was popsicles and jello. Someone grabs a scissors and cuts off the heated gown, I am now buck naked, violently shaking, puking all over myself in front of a room full of 15 people. Talk about a humbling moment.
At this point I’m begging for water because I can’t breath and now I can’t swallow either. I was denied. A new gown was thrown over me, Rob was brought back in the room and they were ready to get started.
The entire c-section maybe lasted 15 minutes. It’s a crazy fast procedure, but if you had asked me that day I would have said we were in there for hours. When Dr Sprengeler cut into me the shaking turned into convulsing on the table. My doctor repeated over and over “stay with us Amber, stay with us.” In this moment I thought I was going to die. Truly, I thought I was dying. My thoughts were this, I did my job, I got them here, Rob’s going to be an incredible dad, please God save me. I don’t remember this but Rob said they got out Cooper, a minute later Oliver was here and the second they pulled him from my body the convulsions stopped and I fell dead still on the table. Later when Rob and I were finally able to talk about this, even though he had a brave face in the room, he confessed that he too thought I was going to die and in that moment thought he had lost me. You can see now why it’s taken so long to write about this day. Their birth was both miraculous and traumatic.
I will be eternally grateful to the team that got them here safely and made sure their momma was going to be around to guide them through this life.
If you talked to me while I was pregnant, the only thing I was adamant about was that they were not going to be born on my birthday. We make plans, God laughs.
I was born at 1:21pm on May 31, 1984. At 1:28pm on May 31, 2018 I became a mom. At 1:29pm I became a mom of two.
Welcome to the world Cooper Clifford and Oliver Harrison, with a shaky bated breath we waited 6 years, 36 weeks 5 days and 32 long hours of labor to meet you. You were worth the wait.
