Our Final TWW
As Rob and I enter our final two week wait to meet our boys, I wanted to take some time to reflect back on the cycle that finally worked. I've talked about the TWW or two week wait before, in the fertility world it is the two weeks in-between fertilization and finding out if you're pregnant or not. That wait is the most agonizing time in any treatment...in my humble opinion it's worse than all the drugs and procedures because you have nothing left to do but wait and pray for good news. So in honor of hitting 35 weeks and only having 2 weeks left in this pregnancy I'd like to share our experience with the cycle that finally worked.
One short year ago Rob and I were prepping for our 4th and final IVF. We had made peace that if this one didn't work we would move onto adoption. Knowing this was it we had made a plan with our doctor to essentially throw everything but the kitchen sink at this one in hopes that something would work.
I've mentioned before how much we love our doctor April Batcheller at CCRM Minneapolis, but one of the things I love most about her is her willingness to research and try new things as long as they are safe and have research behind them. One of the cutting edge things she tried for us was adding a drug called Saizen to the beginning of our cycle. Saizen is human growth hormone and the newest research is indicating that adding this drug at the beginning of an IVF cycle can improve egg quality. Now in our last cycle my eggs actually looked pretty good but remember kitchen sink philosophy :) The other thing different about this cycle was adding in a drug called Cetrotide sooner than we have in the past to slow down the lead follicles a little earlier so that I could stay on the stimulation drugs longer- the benefit of this was that it gave my body more time to let the smaller eggs catch up and in the end give us more mature eggs to work with. In the picture below you can see all the dark circles on the screen, those are all follicles on one of my ovaries, inside of those cysts are eggs.
After about two weeks of meds my doctor decided we had gotten as many as we were going to get and it was time for my 4th and final retrieval surgery. Because we took a very aggressive approach to this cycle my estrogen levels were extremely high and my doctor was concerned with me developing OHSS which is Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome so instead of the normal HCG trigger, which can make OHSS worse, she used Lupron. What this drug does is it loosens up the eggs inside of the follicles to allow the doctor to remove them using a giant needle. It's extremely precise in terms of timing, so precise that they give you an exact time to take this drug- it's two shots 12 hours apart. The first shot I took at 2:30am and then the following day I gave myself the second shot at 2:30pm and my surgery was scheduled for 12:30pm the next day. The night before my surgery Rob and I set off for the cities so that we would be close to our doctor if anything were to happen and because my surgery was so late in the day and you can't have any food or water I wanted to be able to sleep as long as possible that morning! Below is the picture we took leaving the hotel and heading to our doctors office!
Heading into surgery our hopes were high, they had seen so many follicles during our monitoring and we were confident this would be our best cycle yet....boy were we right! We set a clinic record that day and retrieved 55 eggs! No wonder I looked 6 months pregnant and could barely sit up straight that morning! Below is Rob and I just a few minutes after waking up and getting the good news and below that is some of our awesome team at CCRM that we LOVE and adore!
Unfortunately the downside of growing 55 eggs in 2 weeks is that your body sort of freaks out! I did end up with a pretty bad case of OHSS, lots of fluid in my abdomen and really hard time with breathing for a few days. All of this was a good distraction for the 6 agonizing days we had to wait to find out how many of those eggs became embryos.
So let's recap Rob and my history of IVF's-
IVF #1- No embryos to freeze
IVF #2- No embryos to freeze
IVF #3- 3 embryos frozen - 2 transfered April 2017, no baby as a result- 1 left in the freezer
IVF #4- DRUM ROLE.............10 top grade embryos frozen!!!!!
That gave us a grand total of 11 top grade embryos frozen SAY WHAT! All of the changes and sacrifices had been worth it and for the first time ever in our 6 years of treatment history it felt like we could take a breath.
In a previous blog I mentioned that we did 2 IVF's and 2 transfers last year...this blog is about the second IVF so in a matter of 4 months we had done 3 major procedures and decided we would take the summer off to heal and get a little break. We talked with our doctor about timing and decided to set our next FET or frozen embryo transfer for October. Again we asked her what we could do differently with this transfer to give us a better chance at success. That summer she treated me with a drug called Depot Lupron which is used to treat endometriosis patients. To this day we have never seen endo in my uterus but she was worried that I may have some hiding that was causing problems. We also decided that my allergies may be playing into the multiple failures and October in MN is still allergy season so we added in an anti-hystimine protocol which helps keep your body from fighting the embryo. I also concentrated on nutrition more then ever for this transfer and had cut out gluten, caffeine and was down to one full fat dairy serving a day. It felt like we had done everything in our power to prep my body for these babies!
Above is Rob and I the morning of our transfer, we left for Edina on a high ready to bring our babies home!
We settled into the familiar transfer room and tried to calm our nerves as we waited for our awesome team. Our amazing fertility acupuncturist Nicole kicked off our morning and got my body prepared to bring the embryos home, then came the doctor Ellen Hayes to do the transfer. Here are our two perfect little boys at just 5 days old!
Both embryos were day 5 grade 5AB (if you're curious about what that means just google embryo grading :) Basically they were gorgeous darn near perfect embryos! Doctor Hayes did say to me that morning, you know that transferring two doesn't increase your chances, it just means you're more likely to have twins...boy was she right ha! After she was done transferring our babies home, Nicole came back for a second round of acupuncture, and after that we were released to go home and be on strict bedrest for 48 long hours!
The first picture below is right after the transfer, and the screen I'm pointing to is in the second picture. That white line right in the middle of the dark circle is the boys right after they were transferred!
Of course before we left, I needed a picture with two of my favorite nurses...Maria who was with me every step of every procedure at CCRM and Hannah who has been by my side for all 4 procedures on the surgical end of IVF at CCRM. I love both of these women and they were so comforting and encouraging during such an emotional process!
Here's where the title of this post kicks in...the dreaded Two Week Wait UGH! The time after transfer but before you know if you're pregnant or not. This wait sucks! Every twinge you feel, out comes the phone and doctor google. Was that good or bad, is that an early pregnancy symptom...it's enough to drive you crazy!
The morning of our Beta HCG blood draw Rob and I were both extremely nervous. As I hopped in my car to head over to our local hospital to have my blood drawn, I was greeted by this beautiful sunrise.
It felt like God was surrounding me in his white light and I felt at peace. After my draw I walked to my car with shaking hands, got in and played this song:
And then I sat in the parking lot and bawled. You know like the ugly, dry heaving, tears streaming cry. I prayed at that moment and said to God, "no matter the outcome today lord, this is your will. Give us strength today." I was done pleading with Him for a positive outcome- you see, it hadn't worked in the past and I knew He had a plan and that someday it would reveal itself to us. I was hoping today was that day.
I drove home and another wait began. Hours passed as Rob and I starred at the phone willing it to ring. Finally we saw CCRM's number light up...my stomach dropped as I answered and nurse Jill sounded off on the phone. I've had plenty of the you're not pregnant calls so I know that tone of voice well and I knew something was wrong. Boy was I relieved when the problem was that she still hadn't gotten our results! I was annoyed, but that was better than a no. Upon calling the local hospital, they had faxed my results to the wrong number. UGH! How does that happen! Minutes after that call, Jill was calling us back with our real results. We had barely answered the phone when Jill said to us, "Amber, you are definitely pregnant!" The goal at this stage is a beta HCG of 50 or greater...ours was 269! Yep, definitely pregnant and more than likely twins!!!!
Thomas was so happy, he wanted to take a picture with Mom and Dad to show his siblings some day. He just can't wait for the tiny humans to come home!!! Ha!
So we had passed the first hurdle, we had gotten pregnant for the first time ever! But we were far from out of the woods. Every night was filled with gigantic progesterone shots in the back....ouch...
And every minute filled with worry that something would happen and we would either lose them or go into our first ultrasound and find no heartbeats or an ectopic pregnancy. Some of those fears were given life when our second beta came back with bad news. Every 48 hours your HCG level in the beginning should double...our second came back with only an 80% rise. So they took it again 48 hours later and again only 80% rise. I then got a call from the doctor preparing me that yes I was still pregnant but she feared that we either had initially been pregnant with twins and lost one or the second baby might have implanted in my fallopian tubes causing an ectopic pregnancy.
It felt like the rug had been pulled out from under us. I think I cried every day until our first ultrasound at 5 weeks 5 days pregnant. Rob and I made the long drive to Edina...what a quiet car ride that was. We got into the room and waited with shaking hands and worried hearts. Our OB at the Edina office along with the ultrasound technician warned us that they were going to turn the screen away from us, talk about what they were seeing and then tell us the results. I couldn't see anything, but Rob could and he told me after that they did a great job of only showing one baby at a time-he had no idea there were two! So when the girls turned the screen and suddenly two babies were on it I think the entire twin cities heard me scream "twins" as the doctor said "here THEY are."
Both babies were perfectly placed, right on track for growth, baby A already had a strong heartbeat and one week later we would see both of their little hearts beating away!
This day seems like it was just yesterday, and yet here we sit- two short weeks away from bringing home our boys. To say we are grateful is an understatement. I know the weeks, months and years ahead will be hard. There will be sleepless nights, tantrums, breakdowns and every other hard thing that comes along with being parents. But, I can also say we're ready. We will take every bump in the road because it means that we get the amazing days too. The first smile, first laugh, first steps, and every other first that every other parent gets to experience. It took 6 long years to get here but this story is just beginning.
With bated breath your dad and I wait. We wait to meet you, see your faces for the first time, kiss your sweet little noses and cuddle your tiny bodies. With bated breath we wait to see you take your first breath. Mommy and daddy are ready, with bated breath we will count down the days, hours and minutes until we bring you home for good.
With bated breath....
SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave
