My last Mother's Day with empty arms.

This is it! This is the LAST Mother's Day Rob and I will spend with empty arms. We are 3 short weeks away from becoming parents. I am still in awe of this miracle and so grateful that God has granted me a smooth pregnancy that is flying by. As I sit here typing, getting kicked like crazy by both boys, I can't help but think about all the Mother's Days that I sat in this same room a mess because another Mother's Day had arrived and our baby still hadn't.

Honestly, for years I have dreaded Mother's Day, never knowing if I would ever be a mom myself. I avoided church every Mother's Day Sunday because it made me cry to see all the moms stand and be recognized. I hated going out to eat because inevitably a young family would be out celebrating their first Mother's Day as a mom and not as a daughter. I hated even watching tv because every other commercial was celebrating moms everywhere. Even now, 34 weeks pregnant with twins it feels strange to think this is the last Mother's Day where my arms will be empty.

Unless you've walked in my shoes, you have no idea how hard this day can be. For all you women out there still fighting to be a mom, I want to say I'm sorry. Imagine me hugging you tightly today as I know how hard today is. I pray this too is your last Mother's Day with empty arms-believe it can happen because it can! Don't give up hope, keep fighting and be open to the journey God has laid before you. It doesn't make sense in the middle but what story does? In the end, He will reveal His plan for you and believe me you will rejoice and grow stronger in your faith when He does.

For those of you that haven't been in our shoes, let me take you down a journey of my last 8 years of Mother's Days- had I been keeping a diary, the last 8 years it would have sounded something like this...

Mother's Day 2011:

OMG I'm engaged-only 3 more months and I'll be Mrs Klimek...who knows this time next year I might be pregnant!!!

2012:

Well we've been trying for a few months, no big deal it takes a little time for most people to get pregnant the first time. Next year at this time we will be a family of 3. Wow, this is going to be such a great year!

2013:

Rob is really sick, we thought it was cancer-thank you God that it's not! Sarcoidosis could explain our problems but the doctor said I'm not ovulating either. Let's hope his meds and mine fix this-we will be pregnant soon...I hope.

2014:

The meds didn't work, neither did IUI and the surgery Rob had at Christmas that was supposed to make it easier for us to get pregnant actually made things worse. We just found out our only option is IVF. Can we afford this? Can we afford not to do this? Will I ever be a mom?

2015:

Two rounds of IVF this year and all I have to show for it is an extra 20 pounds in med weight. The doctors found a polyp in my uterus that needs surgery and now are telling us that we should move on and try IUI again using donor sperm. WHAT?!? How did we get here? Will this ever end?

2016:

We tried 7 rounds of IUI with donor sperm and nothing. So there's a deeper problem here but what is it? We don't trust our doctor any more, we have no idea what to do. We need a new plan and a break.

2017:

This is it. We met a new doctor. She's aggressive and cutting edge and if she can't get us pregnant, no one can. God-if this doesn't work we yield. We will adopt. We will follow a different path but we will not wait one more year to be parents.

2018:

Last year was a little bumpy-it took 2 more rounds of IVF, and 2 frozen transfers but WE DID IT! We beat infertility. I can finally say with certainty this is my last Mother's Day with empty arms.

Last year on Mother's Day Rob and I were deep in prayer about what to do. Should we keep pursuing fertility treatments or move onto adoption. You know how that story ends but what you don't know is how sweet and supportive Rob was that day for me. He knows how hard this day can be for me to face and made sure I kept my faith that we would be parents someday...little did he know when he used the word "we" we would literally be having twins one short year later!

Mother's Day has a double celebration for us this year-this weekend was the final milestone in this pregnancy. The twins are far enough along at this point that we can deliver in Alexandria. They can come any day now and we will likely not need to spend extended time in the hospital!

For all you mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day. I hope you feel celebrated today and loved by your family. This day is all about you Mom and you've earned it! If you know someone that is in the midst of trying to become a mom remember today is hard day for them. Tell them you love them and that you're here. A short text is all they need to feel loved today, trust me it feels good to be remembered on a day you feel forgotten.

With Bated Breath Rob and I wait to fill our arms and hearts with these sweet boys. Praise you God for granting us these two precious gifts.