Thy Will Be Done

My inspiration to blog has been lacking for some time now. This is one of those projects that has been an amazing outlet and yet, sharing the intimate details of this process isn't always easy. God tends to hit me over the head with signs when it's time for me to pick up and write. Today was one of those days.

There has been a lot of change in my life recently. I took on a new and challenging role at Tastefully Simple, it's been a wild ride that I'm loving but it is also very draining at times. On top of that Rob and I have been working tirelessly with new doctors in the cities trying to prep for what we know will be our last IVF. It's been exhausting trying to balance everything and I hit a breaking point this week. As I sat on my couch in tears alone one night I literally said "God I surrender to you, whatever your plan is for me I give it to you. I don't want to drive alone any more, please take the wheel." Those of you that know me well know that I wouldn't say those words lightly. Giving up control is not easy for me. The very next morning a dear friend of mine sent me this video:

Once again I found myself in tears. As a Christian we say this often, "thy will be done lord," but saying and living by that word is not the same.

There is a powerful moment in this video where you see Hillary untying all the knots that God has placed in her life. These moments of time where we question why me, why this path, what did I do, how can I smooth out the knots lord. Then you see her surrender to Him, retying and burying the rope. She sings:

I know you hear me I know you see me, Lord Your plans are for me Good news you have in store

So, thy will be done

She wrote this song after suffering a devastating miscarriage last fall. This song has hit me so hard today. It seems like the harder I try the more knots I put in my path, watching Hillary stop fighting against God's plan and leaning into him really stuck with me. So I repeat again, Lord I surrender to you. You hear me, you see me and I know your plans are better then anything I could ever imagine. Thy will be done.

With Bated Breath.